Angry Robot


What do ya know, Coolio’s hottest fan page hasn’t been updated since September 2000. But I wanted to know what Coolio was up to, RIGHT NOW.

22 comments on "coolio"

  1. ÿ says:

    did you see him on celebrity fear factor? he kicked John Travolta’s wife’s ass, if memory serves.

  2. D says:

    No, and I wish I had. Did he perchance mention what he’s been up to lately…?

  3. ÿ says:

    I just remember was how he kept saying “I’m from Brooklyn so none of you all stand a chance,” and it was painfully clear to everyone he was right.

  4. Anonymous says:

    They had this oscillating circular walk-way suspended ten stories in the air that Coolio confidently made his way around in no time. Travolta appeared, to give his wife a pep talk that had some inspired tip in it like, ‘You know, you can go slowly and take your time, and then make up a lot of ground in a single instant,’ but this instant never even sort of arrived.

  5. ÿ says:

    Coolio was a good winner, he got all his gloating out his system so by the time he actually won it felt like a non-event.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Hey– I didn’t think you could post a blog without filling in a name.

  7. D says:

    Yeah, it sucks… Identify yourself! Friend … or foe?

  8. D says:

    Rats, I scared him/her off. Anyway, good point, whomever you were – I need to tweak up the commenting setup something nice.

    On with the show. Here’s the update I was looking for, that literally poses the question “When are fans gonna hear sumpin’ new from Coolio?”, and goes on to answer it. It’s from April, and claims his new album,, (nice fucking title, Coolio) will be released in June. Obviously, we’re past june, and no album – the URL ain’t there either.

    Anyway, it’s a good thing that the album has vanished. It’s full of staggeringly unoriginal ideas, apparently: production by Trackmasters, who are a big reason why most mainstream rap sucks; he’s formed a “collective,” the Replacements, and calls it a west-coast Wu-Tang – hey, man, that’s called a crew, everyone’s got one, and the band name “the replacements” is taken; finally, it contains “an updated version of “The Gambler” called “The Hustler” that Coolio recorded in 1998 with Kenny Rogers. Wyclef beat you to the market with that jem, champ.

    Not that I ever liked Coolio, mind you. I think he sucks, but at least his name has passed into the vernacular. I’d like to do that with “sankey”. So the next time you like something, say “hey dude, thats a sankey watch you’ve got.” Or alternatively, the next time you stub your toe, yell “sankey.”

  9. ÿ says:

    “I just remember how he kept saying…”

    I’m starting to write like Chretien talks.

  10. ÿ says:

    Preview, must remember to preview.

  11. D says:

    Preview’s for wimps.

  12. ÿ says:

    Yeah, you right, my days of previewing are over again.

    So, it turns out you despise Coolio. I like it when you lay into people like this D, you should do this more often. And on that note, can I just say that I think Kool Keith is quite fucking boring. He gives me the big time “why buy the product to hear the advertisement?” feeling. Do you know of many rappers who have found it in themselves to refrain from bragging? I’d be curious to hear them.

  13. D says:

    Did you listen to any Dr. Octagon? That’s the only album I’m familiar with really, and it’s quite something – even the production changed a lot of things in hiphop (Q-Bert and Dan the Automator rock). Some of the old Ultramagnetic MCs tracks are pretty solid, too.

    Boasting is pretty integral to rap, it’s just part of the tradition. So there are few rappers who shed it altogether. What I like is guys who just make it so surreal that you know they understand it to be a rhetorical device and not a truth claim – Redman, a lot of the Wu-Tangers, Keith definitely… the list goes on and on. Oppose that to gangsta dudes and bling-blingers who sometimes seriously believe it’s important everyone understand how many people they’ve killed / how many Rollses they have in the driveway.

    Actually, the Pharcyde are really interesting for similar reasons. The debut album featured raps about masturbation, insecurity and other topics that most rappers wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot dick. (Whoa, excuse the weird image – I was trying to fit in something about rap machismo… yikes) Fatlip went solo after the second album and released a great track featuring all manner of self-deprecation. Wonder what the fuck happened to that guy since.

  14. ÿ says:

    The album I’ve been basing my opinion of Kool Keith on is called “Matthew”, and you can have it. Maybe I’ll borrow Dr. Octagon off you somewhere down the line.

  15. D says:

    Hmm. 2 stars on allmusic. Doesn’t sound so hot.

  16. tv says:

    I don’t know a lot about rap, yo. But I do think Redman’s pathologically vain and that the gangsta rappers tend to have a pretty good sense of humour about things – except when it comes to having no love for hoes…but who does?

  17. Anonymous says:

    Pardon me. I was thinking of Redman’s friend, Method Man. He seems like an asshole. Redman’s site is kinda funny. Its link to Method Man’s site doesn’t work. I want to kill Method Man. Am I allowed to say that here? I don’t mean it. But I want to hurt him. Can I say that?

  18. D says:

    Well, I’d warn you against it, but the chances of Method Man reading this are below nil. But just in case: hi Method Man! I’m a big fan, and I don’t want to hurt you!

  19. spankmaster81 says:

    damn you guys dont know nothing about Kool Keith! How can you sit there and listen to his music and not like it. Different from everything else out there. Matthew was okay. But his list of albums and guest appearances is one of the hardest to track. Listen to the Dr. Dooom album, Black Elvis/Lost In Space, KHM, Spankmaster, Cenobites, Sex Style, Masters Of Illusion, Ultra, any Ultramagnetic Mc album. And it still sounds good and even better than a lot of the stuff out now. Even though its 5, 8, 10 years old.

  20. alfred says:

    regarding kool keith, matthew is basically just a big “dis” record. keith likes to dis other rappers here & there, but on matthew he really went for it. as “d” says, though, most of his work isn’t really about that.

  21. D says:

    I’m a huge fan of Keith – Octagon especially – but I found Matthew unlistenable. Ah well, everyone has their off album.

    Incidentally, those who did like Dr. Octagon should check out Dan the Automator’s more recent foray into hip-hop concept opera, the excellent Deltron 3030, with Del Tha Funkee Homosapien in Keith’s role and Kid Koala in Q-Bert’s. Nice stuff.

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