Angry Robot

Slippery When Wet

So… I’ve taken a week break from Eyeless Max in order to horrify our readers with a drawn representation of my naked body. Not even steel wool will be able to scrub that one out of your brain.

D and I have been going Halo nuts. D has been even analyzing past matches to find our weak points. So let me sum up what we’ve been doing in our matches:

We are sub-par Halo players. We are far from the best on the net, but we aren’t terrible… no random blind shooting in the hope of hitting things. We have been mysteriously winning most of our matches, however. How? well… Any combination of D, Rugatu, Leto, Nadine, Duiker, (and a few others that I’ve most likely forgotten) go online as a team and talk to each other rapidly. We’ve found that we actually fare pretty well against people who would normally have us dead to rights by just sticking together, covering each others asses, and holing up when things are tight…

Some recommendations…
a) Bubble shields are your friends: Plug up small entrances with ‘em… prevent your enemies from making long distance kills by forcing them to come to you.

b) Keep your distance: Guru players love instant kills with shotguns, hammers, and beatdowns… they wait around corners and don’t move so they don’t show up on the radar, so tread carefully and remember… your battle rifle is an amazing tool for taking them down without getting close… Aim for the head…

c) Go in twos. This way you can cover entrances easier, bump off weakened enemies who just pegged your pal, and move with relative safety.

d) Go for the bigguns: Learn the maps on your own and where the heavy hitting weapons are. If enemies learn that all you use is a rocket launcher they’ll think of you as a threat and find a way to kill you… but if you use it randomly and sparingly enough you can really throw people off balance. Show them you have the power but not the ego to abuse it. keep them guessing…

e) Jayne’s favorite toy: Grenades! that’s right…. they’re everywhere… when in doubt… toss a grenade. They keep your enemy mobile and prevents campers, they flush out corners and corridors, they cause you enemies attention to briefly go elsewhere… they are a fantastic tool. And it’s a great surprise for the asshole hiding in the dark with a Grav Hammer.

f) Finally: Talk… give your pals a running commentary of where you are and what you see. Information is the key… use it.

That’s it kids…. have a good one

2 comments on "Slippery When Wet"

  1. D says:

    Good stuff homes.

    I’ve been thinking what to add in terms of strategy pointers (keeping in mind that I’m no MLG player or anything) and most of what I come up with is map-specific. So I might just post a new article some point this week with map- and gametype-specific tips – our patented recipe for success in Snowbound, for example. Your points are all good; I’d especially highlight ‘go in twos’ – twos or more. That’s pretty much what we did differently from most teams, and it meant we at least came out even in encounters rather than going down by a kill.

    Also, a simple willingness to play defensively and let the enemy rush us often helps us out. It never fails to surprise me how most teams just charge charge charge, and often not even as a group..

  2. elisabeth bennett says:

    so, your new layout for the blog looks good, but seems very confusing to me. anyway, i found your cartoon, and then thought it was funny that you would picture yourself making love on a big purple canopied bed…no taste Toku, no taste.

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