Angry Robot


If you a complete master kung fu swordfighter, you must never look at your opponents. Or face them, unless you are spinning sideways like an airborne top, with swords flying everywhere. But be careful, you shouldn’t barely ever use your sword. In fact, if you are a real, like hardcore real swordfighter, you should avoid fighting in general. If necessary, fight your opponents in your mind. Because the pinnacle of swordfighting is not using a sword at all, don’t you see? Absolute next-level type sheer sword geniuses like myself have never even picked up a sword. And if you challenge me to a sword fight I will face away and down like a heartbroken android and inform you with only the slightest hint of superiority that I have already won.

See? Watch Hero, you might learn something. It’s Zhang Yimou’s attempt at tiger crouching Rashomon, with kung fu champs Jet Li, Donnie Yen, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung and the beautiful Zhang Ziyi. It’s very good. Beautiful with frequent wire-fight ass-kickings, just like life.

One comment on "Hero"

  1. pimp daddy frank says:

    I think triumph is the shit…literally. He is so funny and anyone who gets offended by him is one ugly hump away from being his bitch!

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