Angry Robot

Keys to the Kitchens

If someone performed an act of heroism for their city (say, defeating SARS in hand-to-hand combat), a key to the city is sort of a lame gift. Hey, no-one ever locks it. Better gifts: a) pass to park anywhere, even in the middle of a highway or on a sidewalk; b) keys to everyone’s kitchens, meaning our hero is entitled to enter anyone’s home in the middle of the night and make a sandwich.

2 comments on "Keys to the Kitchens"

  1. JS says:

    c) Free diner food within city limits forever. Our hero should not have to pay for coffee or get hustled away from the counter after twenty minutes.

  2. D says:

    Another one might be the ability to commandeer vehicles at will, sort of like Grand Theft Auto except with everyone happy to have their car taken by such a great hero.

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