Angry Robot

Precision Singing, Pre-emptive Dancing

The script and the songs are all good to go, so now we’re casting Gulf War II: The Musical, and we need your help. Our top choices are

Dick Cheney – Mickey Rooney or Sir Anthony Hopkins
Saddam Hussein – Tom Waits or Bob Hoskins
George W. Bush – would like Matthew McConaughey, but he’s too young
Donald Rumsfeld- Nick Nolte
Osama bin Laden – Adrien Brody

We still need to fill parts for Chirac, Blair, Crown Prince Abdullah, Tom Ridge, and others. There are lots of exciting storylines, especially some taut scenes between some Marines and a team of dancing Al-Qaeda ninjas. There are boatloads of great songs… Cheney has a few tap dance segments in his undisclosed lair… Surprise “Drop the Bomb on Me” rap number by Kim Jong Il, produced by Dre… should be a chart-topper. Let’s get this thing cast, people, and get it into the theatres while it’s hot n’ fresh!

6 comments on "Precision Singing, Pre-emptive Dancing"

  1. tj says:

    At first read I thought it read :
    Cheney has a few lap dance segments in his undisclosed lair…

    and, you made water come out my nose.

  2. Jake 'No Eyes' Trumpski says:

    Rowan Atkinson for Blair – gotta be!

  3. D says:

    Yes – the script is now changed to reflect tj’s comment – Cheney lap dances a-poppin’! Lap n’ tap, baby.

    Also, we’re going to contact Rowan’s manager – sounds like a good fit to me.

  4. JS says:

    Tom Ridge – Tommy Lee Jones

  5. D says:

    Yes! Especially since there are scenes in which homeland security has to perform a manhunt. TLJ is all about manhunts.

  6. Dave Pollard says:

    Gotta have Donald Sutherland as Rummy, he plays diabolical overstressed maniacs better than anyone. Also need a role for Donald Pleasence. This is a hoot, and a great idea. Let’s just hope we don’t have to cast the sequel.

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