Precision Singing, Pre-emptive Dancing
The script and the songs are all good to go, so now we’re casting Gulf War II: The Musical, and we need your help. Our top choices are
Dick Cheney – Mickey Rooney or Sir Anthony Hopkins
Saddam Hussein – Tom Waits or Bob Hoskins
George W. Bush – would like Matthew McConaughey, but he’s too young
Donald Rumsfeld- Nick Nolte
Osama bin Laden – Adrien Brody
We still need to fill parts for Chirac, Blair, Crown Prince Abdullah, Tom Ridge, and others. There are lots of exciting storylines, especially some taut scenes between some Marines and a team of dancing Al-Qaeda ninjas. There are boatloads of great songs… Cheney has a few tap dance segments in his undisclosed lair… Surprise “Drop the Bomb on Me” rap number by Kim Jong Il, produced by Dre… should be a chart-topper. Let’s get this thing cast, people, and get it into the theatres while it’s hot n’ fresh!