sorry, buddy
Whoa. Just realized that I totally missed d/blog’s first birthday on the third of this month. Boy, am I sorry, little buddy… there’ll be cake, lots of cake… I’ll make it up to you somehow.
What do you get for the blog who has everything? A celebrity roast, natch. I have calls out to Dino, Rickles, Milton Berle and Barry Goldwater.
Thats terrible D. How could you have done such a thing? I hope there will be a lotta cake you asshole. I think the only way to eleviate the situation is to take him out for drinks Friday night. You and him should just get right fucked.
Well, the blog is still quite upset, naturally. It’s been pissing all over the house and leaving “packages” for me to discover. I’m like, dude, fine, be that way! I’m dying to tell it about the Roast, but that’s still in the works… Turns out Goldwater’s dead, so he can’t make it, Dino too… I’m trying to get them reanimated, but the scheduling is all wrong. So far my lineup is pretty weak: Carrot Top, P. Diddy, Charles Napier and Jaron Lanier. If I can’t get a real top-biller by next week, I’m fucked, and the blog may never talk to me again.
whatever, just give me a blowjob, nigger.