A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
There’s something mildy cruel about it, but one of the funniest things I’ve ever found on the web is this list of quotes from accident reports. If you’ve ever written one, you know how hard they are to write. Shortly after a traumatic experience, and under a great deal of stress, the accident participant is forced to write a description of a complex and terrifying event in such a way as to avoid personal blame. My favorites are the ones that sound psychotically logical: “the pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.” Or “when I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
There’s plenty more where that came from.